If at first you don’t succeed…

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s totally OK to give up. Wait. What? Yup – this is something I’ve come to learn this past year and it totally contradicts what I’ve been taught my whole life so I feel the need to spread the word of this recent revelation! I mean, that is, after all, what your 20s and 30s is all about right? Figuring out who the hell you are in this world, one experience after another.

So a little over a year ago, I had recently turned 30 {HUGE milestone!}, was living in Florida, expecting my third baby, and feeling very unsettled about the future. We had known for years that we would move back to Illinois soon but still didn’t know exactly when, so I was feeling very temporary in every aspect of my life – my job {I didn’t know if I would be able to stay with my company when we moved}, our friends, our home, our community, etc. and I didn’t have a light at the end of the tunnel.

My husband and I were both working full-time out of the house, with an hour+ commute each way. We rarely had good dinners, felt as if we had no time with the kids, were fueled on no more than 5 hours of sleep each night and were trying to figure out how there would possibly be enough time in the day once the new baby arrived. We were just going through the motions and not enjoying much. Life was passing us by at lightning speed with no sign of slowing down in the near future.

Despite all the chaos {or maybe it was because of all the chaos?} and always feeling too busy, I still felt like something was missing. So what did I do? I decided to add to our load and pick up/invest in a side gig. I thought it was the perfect solution – I would be creating a network of likeminded people {mostly through social media} who would stick with me through our future move and I’d be making a little money on the side all while motivating and helping others achieve their goals. Perfect – right?! Well, it may have been had I actually been good at it, but what I found is that it multiplied my stress levels and added to the long list of areas in which I felt I was constantly coming up short in my life – which obviously didn’t benefit anyone.

I should have realized that I was in no state to be helping others when I actually required so much help of my own {I was 8 months pregnant so needed the help physically and mentally!}, but you know what they say – hindsight is always 20/20. Because I was seeing results from the people I was coaching {I was literally brought to chills and tears from my challengers multiple times throughout this journey}, I thought I was on the brink of breaking through so I stuck with it. On the brink of breaking through what? I don’t know. I don’t know if I thought I was finding my calling in life or if I thought the financial income would be enough to give us the life we hoped for? I really couldn’t tell ya, but that “on the brink feeling” was what kept stringing me along.

Then, FINALLY, I don’t know what did it, but I realized this side gig just wasn’t for me. I realized how inadequate it made me feel. I realized that because of it, I was constantly adding items to my never ending to-do list that I continued to push off and disregard. And most importantly, I realized that I was taking precious time away from my family {from my NEWBORN!} – and that was time I could never get back. Ok, so now what? I couldn’t possibly just quit, could I? I had spent the past several months promoting myself, promoting this business, convincing other women to stick with it and not give up – and what now, just let everyone know “hey, sorry, just kidding – I quit!” Well, yea, pretty much. And you know why? Because in this whole process of finding myself, I’ve determined it’s OK to try something out, and conclude that it’s not for me if I suck at it – or if I don’t enjoy it – or if it just simply doesn’t fit into the dynamics of my life at that point. And, most importantly, I shouldn’t feel guilty about it {this is what I really need to work on!} and I shouldn’t let it discourage me from trying out new ventures in the future. This is how we change. This is how we grow. This is how we improve.

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So here is to trying new things, but always having the wisdom, self-awareness and guts to leave it behind us if it’s not the right fit – and to eventually finding whatever it is that fills that hole and fuels your soul.

Have you found that something? Are you still in search of it? Is there something you need to give up? Please share!

Happy Thursday!

Until next time,
Amanda

20 thoughts on “If at first you don’t succeed…

  1. Ahhh! I loved reading this! I decided to go back to school after I had my 2nd baby. I got into an MBA program, attended orientation and made it to the first class. I spent 5 hours at the library trying to complete my first assignment and was like umm I can’t spend time away from my girls right now (they are still babies). I decided to put school on hold. Best decision I ever made. Thanks for sharing 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awe – thank you! Good for you too – I mean even just getting into an MBA program should’ve been reward enough! And had you stuck with it at that point in your life, you may have always regretted that time you can’t get back – and it’s always something you can keep on the back burner and revisit once the kids are older!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So honest and forthright. It’s hard to start something but even harder to admit it’s not working for you. You always gotta do what makes you happy, and if it doesn’t bring you joy- leave it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It really was hard to walk away from! But doing it, and now publicly admitting I did it actually makes me feel so much better – like a weight off my shoulders! Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

  3. This is soooo true! Sometimes things just aren’t the right fit and it’s ok to let it go. Thanks for sharing your story I know I can relate to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this & your candidness. It is totally fine to quit when its not something that is helping you grow, or anything beneficial. I am so glad you decided to focus on yourself & family rather than feel the pressure to stay in a company or job you didnt like.
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it at all! The fact that you tried it is showing determination to try new things, not trying something you will always wonder, “what if”, so being a full time mom, wife & working full time & being good at all of them is success & rewarding in all aspects…enjoy life no matter ‘what limes’ you have to set aside or move on from! Happiness (& smiles) is what matters for you, hubby & kids!! Enjoying your blog🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for the honest post. We are so programmed to try try again, but saving that time and energy and putting it towards the important things is what matters and I’m happy you realized it and shared your experience!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I love this! We’ve all been there, but you are courageous enough to share it. I love your blog, too. It’s refreshing, honest and so much fun to read!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This was such an honest and raw post girl. I love that you showed your vulnerability and I feel like as I get older I’m learning it’s ok to not exceed everyone’s expectations of me! I too am still trying to find my place right now after babies and hope blogging fills that void of wanting to give back and engage with others! Im here with you sister and will take a lot from this post thank u!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is such a great post, I totally relate! I’m really competitive so often feel as though I need to be successful in everything, and it’s just exhausting and frustrating. Learning to focus my energy on what I am passionate about has been a long journey, but has definitely helped in that temporary/limbo feeling!

    Like

  10. Love the honesty in this! It’s so easy to get down on yourself when you try to do it all. But happiness and health is always more important (in my opinion). Glad you had the courage to do what’s best for YOU!

    Like

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