“Hi! I’m Jordan. Want to be friends?”
That’s it. That’s how easy it was for my four-year-old son to make his first friend after our 1,000 mile move from Florida to Illinois. So pure. So simple. So innocent. That was less than two months ago and since then, they’ve continued playing and have gone to two parties together. TWO! That kid has a better social life than I do at this point!
Why is it so tough to make new friends as an adult? You’d think by this point, we’d finally be good at it considering we’ve had our whole lives to practice. Is it because we’re self-conscious? We’re afraid of being shot down or afraid of coming off as aggressive, or God-forbid, weird? Or is it because we don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into? We’ve all experienced that stage-5 clinger at some point – and if you haven’t, then I hate to break it to you, but it’s you. You’re the clinger. So maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s just fear of the unknown and being unsure if the risk is greater than the reward.
Believe it or not, I’ve actually heard people say they don’t try making new friends because they don’t have time for friends. Well guess what? A lot of women feel this way at this point in our life – you’re not the only busy bitch. We aren’t looking for someone to spend every waking minute with – we’re just looking for someone to go see a non-animated/non-superhero movie with every once in a while – or someone to throw back a few drinks with on a Tuesday night when your family is driving you batshit crazy – or someone to discuss the most recent episode of The Bachelor with (NOTE: only 2 months until BIP Season 4 airs!). That’s all. Not someone to have to check-in with every time you leave the house. Luckily, those days are gone once you leave that college campus.
So how do we do it? HOW? There must be a way. The past 10 years, I was able to make friends at work – all it took was having a mutual dislike for the same annoying co-worker or working long hours on a big project together. But now, for the first time, I work from home in a new state – so what now? It’s not like I’m going to go hunting for friends at the gym or the grocery store. Ha! Could you imagine going up to a woman at Target and saying “Hi! I’m Amanda. Want to be friends?” She’d give the stank eye and run away quicker than a fox in a forest fire.
So that’s that. I am currently living one of life’s greatest mysteries: how to make new friends as an adult. Until I solve the riddle, you can find me dragging my husband to summer RomComs, drinking alone in the backyard on those batshit crazy nights, and listening to Bachelor podcasts every Tuesday morning to solidify all my judgey opinions. At this point, I’ll take what I can get: productive suggestions and/or virtual friendships welcome.
Until next time,